The Last Few Minutes
by munrochambers4ever
Summary: Eli and Clare's last minutes together.


**Author's Note: the RP i follow on tumblr is really great. and the clare got a question today. it was a sexual question. an anon asked if eli were dying of terminal cancer and all he wanted was to finger you, would you let him? she didn't answer but it got me thinking... then this idea popped in my head and i actually liked it. this will be a really short one-shot and really pointless and dumb and i don't know why i'm writing it. **

I sat in the waiting room staring at the pale wall. I couldn't bring myself to go in there. Not until the time was write.

I heard someone approach me from behind, but I didn't turn to see who it was. I was still in shock. I still thought this was a dream. I felt frozen, like I had died.

Two months ago, Eli was diagnosed with Terminal Cancer. They said he might live till June. It was July 23rd, and he was in the hospital. He had a thousand wires going in and out of him, an oxygen take because he became too weak to breathe on his own, and he couldn't move. He was dying.

They called CeCe this morning and told them today would be the day. I had no idea what time it is now, but I've been here since 6am. It feels like I've been here for five years.

I visited Eli as soon as I got here, but he looked different than any other times I've visited. He was a grayish pale color, he could barley open his eyes. I could hear the tiny, ragged breaths he was forced through his open mouth. He didn't know I was in the room and I couldn't take it. I rushed out.

Because I knew. I knew today was it. This would be the last day he was alive. And I was too selfish to be there with him. I couldn't look at him like that. I couldn't have my memories of him marred by that. Because that wasn't Eli. That wasn't my Eli that I've grown to love and vowed to married. No, that wasn't him. That was a stranger.

When CeCe tapped on my shoulder, I thought that this was it. She would tell me. I could already feel my chest tightening, just thinking about it. I didn't get to say goodbye.

"Clare," she said in a quiet voice. I looked at her, but I couldn't focus on her. "Honey, he wants to see you. He told me he wouldn't go until he saw you,"

I closed my eyes and felt the tears run down my cheeks. He wanted to see me before he died, and I didn't know if I could bring myself to do it.

But I knew I had to. This wasn't about me, this wasn't about what I wanted. This was all about Eli.

When he told me that he had terminal cancer, we cramed everything we wanted to do in our future in two months. He gave me an engagement ring, even though he knew we couldn't get married. I gave him my virginity. We said everything we wanted to say. Our parents didn't care. My mom knew I slept with him, but she was proud of me.

I followed CeCe into his room and cringed when I saw him. He looked worse than before. I could tell he only had minutes left and my heart was breaking during each second.

"You can say goodbye now," CeCe whispered in my ear and I heard her walk away.

The heart moniter got annoying after a while of standing there in silence. I didn't know if he was asleep, but the heart moniter let me know he was here.

I walked over to his bed and pulled back the covers, revealing his too skinny legs. I crawled into the bed with him and laid my head next to his ear.

"I love you, Eli," I whispered and kissed his temple.

"I..." I heard him croaked, but it seemed he couldn't get the words out. One more piece of my heart broke. I only had two pieces left by now.

"Shh," I hushed, nuzzling my nose against his cheek. Even in a hospital, I could still smell _him_ and not the medicines or anything. "I know you do, you don't have to say it,"

But he seemed determined to say it. That made the two pieces of my heart swell. "I love. You too," he whispered, quietly.

I could feel my tears reach the brim as I scooted down and rested my head on his chest. I could feel his ribcage.

It took a few seconds, but he managed to lift one hand and place it on my back. I bit my lip and tried to be quiet while I sobbed, but my body shook a little. I prayed he didn't notice.

The heart moniter slowed and slowed and slowed, until it came to stop. I heard the final long beep, and I broke down. I clutched Eli's hospital gown and sobbed into his boney chest. I couldn't except the fact that he was really gone.

His arm was still wrapped around me.

CeCe and the nurses came in. CeCe's face masked my own as she looked at her son. I could tell she wanted to cry, but didn't want to loose it in front of me.

"Clare, honey, it's time to go,"

"No," I cried. "I just want to lie here forever. Please, don't make me leave him," I held onto him as if my life depended on it. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. This wasn't fair.

"Sweetie, you need to go," CeCe closed her eyes, and the nurse came over. She unwrapped Eli's arm from my waist and helped me stand up.

Once I was standing, I collapsed into a chair and cried. Is this how Eli felt after Julia died? So broken and alone and helpless?

I wished Julia was still here. I wished she never died. Because Eli had to go through this and it was something he shouldn't have had to go through. No one should. This wasn't fair to anyone.

I needed Eli. I loved Eli. He wasn't coming back.

I just wanted to follow him.

**author's note: omg why did i write this? it's so bad lmao. okay, i'm leaving now. **


End file.
